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robin_reala
Triple-A Minesweeper minesweeper.mikelacher.com

TheAtomica minute ago

Is there a help card? Or, how do you turn off the CC captions? They obscure the bottom of the play field on my Mactop.

devin3 hours ago

So good.

Maybe lean into some of the metal gear solid dialogue by having a long back and forth about "What's a mine?" "What do you mean 'mark a mine'?" "How do I know when I'm done?" etc.

mkobit3 hours ago

I really enjoy this trope. The "Zelda Ocarina of Time if it were a modern game" series has the MGS style discussion, and the whole series is incredible.

Here is the forest temple video which is a short sample of what to expect: https://youtu.be/KC656o7_zVk

dormento2 hours ago

"Sweeper, press the X button to mark a mine."

"X... button?"

"Focus, Sweeper! Sweeper? SWEEPEEEER!"

NSUserDefaults2 hours ago

Nice but the logos are skippable, which is not realistic.

LugosFergus2 hours ago

Also, since it's an Unreal game, it's missing long load times, camera jitter, frame spikes, and dynamic resolution constantly kicking in.

easterncalculus41 minutes ago

but muh Steam's 30% cut, or something

guyzero21 minutes ago

I wished it was just all into logos and no actual game. That's the real AAA experience.

grumbel2 hours ago

There is also the classic "Minesweeper - The Movie"[1]

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHY8NKj3RKs

Youden21 minutes ago

Does anyone know if the voices are AI-generated? I was a little surprised; I don't think I would have questioned it if I heard them in a real game or video but since this seems to basically be a joke, I'm doubtful real voice actors were used.

MYEUHDan hour ago

fidotron3 hours ago

But I didn't need to install a publisher specific launcher to run it.

ravenstine3 hours ago

And then be forced to download a 42GiB update.

ASalazarMX44 minutes ago

And accept telemetry and marketing!

Toutouxcan hour ago

I was hoping for the thing where you play through like half of the game and only then it shows you the title against a dramatic vista.

theroadnotbacon3 hours ago

I was absolutely hoping to see production babies in the credits. Can’t win ‘em all.

jameshart2 hours ago

No pets credited either.

xbar3 hours ago

I was angry at the wasted 30 seconds of opening licensed 3rd party software listings, but I stayed through to the end of the credits roll, laughing until I cried.

This is Art.

nottorp3 hours ago

I think the opening logo sequence is too short. Also it's missing agreement to 2-3 EULAs that you have to scroll down all the way for the accept button to get enabled. And the epilepsy warning. And the disclaimer that it's all a work of fiction.

jameshart2 hours ago

Failed certification because it didn’t warn you not to turn off when the save icon is spinning.

adamanonymous2 hours ago

Also missing the redirect to your browser to connect to Epic Games and create a SweeperPro account with 2FA

mlekoszek19 minutes ago

Needs an 'always online' requirement

lapetitejort4 hours ago

Missing:

Sidequest to sweep 10 mines.

Achievement after sweeping 5 mines

The yellow diamond is nice but what if I don't notice the diamond? I need a colored scent trail leading from my cursor to the yellow diamond, and a pinging noise when my cursor is near a mine

Mocapped mines

Jack Quaid

$70

rf153 hours ago

Sorry, did you mean Achievement for Starting the Game for the First Time?

buran772 hours ago

"Only 7.89% of gamers unlocked this".

jandrese3 hours ago

There should be additional audio logs you can find under some squares that provide snippits of backstory.

lapetitejort3 hours ago

This is minesweeper 33. I'n out sweeping mines and I ran across one that looks different than the others. I'll keep investigating while mine sweeping. I'm recording this 30 second clip onto an entire recording device with a 64gb SD card. I'll leave it on this rock for others to find. Don't worry, I have 11 other devices to record my short messages. Wait, the mine, it's glowing! I can't--

RobotToasteran hour ago

Those will be in the $50 DLC

donkey_brains3 hours ago

So good. Looking forward to level 2 so we can find out what happened in Singapore.

jameshart2 hours ago

That will be coming in the first DLC in a few months, delayed because it is being developed by a new team after the original development studio was bought by Activision, retasked to making a mobile solitaire game, then laid off.

LunicLynx3 hours ago

Needs:

- Checkpoints after each mine

- DLC for rounded corners

thesuitonyman hour ago

The DLC is a hat for John Sweeper.

hiccuphippo25 minutes ago

It really does need a store with skins, several kinds of currencies, and loot boxes!

MisterMunchkin3 hours ago

Please expand this into a full open-world minesweeping game

cgannett28 minutes ago

Ok but like... Kojima vibes. 10/10 best trippppllleee AAYYyyyyy game to come out this year lol

progforlyfe40 minutes ago

You need to add achievements/trophies! Definitely need to achieve a trophy for clicking on the very first square, finding the first mine, your first flag, etc.

m_w_an hour ago

Great parody - very "Focus, M"-esque. Often, it feels that we've lost sight of "If it's not fun, why bother".

franze3 hours ago

so, in case if you like minesweeper and doom ... https://dreadsweeper.franzai.com/

ben_wan hour ago

Despite all the stuff it's parodying, this is still a lot better than Bomberman: Act Zero.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bomberman%3A_Act_Zero

xoxxala3 hours ago

10/10 story. I look forward to the forthcoming motion picture adaptation from Skydance directed by Michael Bay.

test65543 hours ago

After Singapore, there just wasn't any choice.

Lucasoato7 minutes ago

Incredible

hiccuphippo29 minutes ago

We need a day-1 patch to align the mines to the center of their tile.

deracan hour ago

What no 30 minute shaders compiling sequence?

jandrese3 hours ago

I like the part where it doesn't even matter if you hit a mine, you are on this train ride regardless of what you do.

larrydagan hour ago

I love the parody. Is this a treatise on modern game development? I hope so.

NSUserDefaults2 hours ago

And which half of the staff gets fired day after release?

jordighan hour ago

icymi, we can also do this with Mario https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMh_APo2Xss

colordrops12 minutes ago

First time I've laughed out loud at one of these sorts of things in a while...

I was expecting it to open up on some WW2 style battlefield with smoke and explosions, but this was better.

isoprophlex3 hours ago

No lootboxes?

ravenstine3 hours ago

There aren't even any skins I can buy with my mom's credit card.

magnat2 hours ago

Felix Varga and Johanna Kowalski (Online Services Engineers) must have done a really good job - with all the traffic from the HN front page login servers didn't go down and queue was almost instant.

3619947523 hours ago

the non-stopping narration makes it so hard to actually sweep the mines....

nvme0n1p13 hours ago

Don: Sounds like you're getting rusty. The Sweeper I knew in Singapore would never have choked like this from just a little background noise.

MitPitt3 hours ago

Focus, M.

codeulikean hour ago

I need to sweep these mines.

wredcoll3 hours ago

That was a great parody, but how much of those effects still worked even though you knew it was coming? The fade ins, blurring the outsides, the emotional voice talking to you... it definitely raised my interest more than just opening minesweeper!

I mean, it doesn't last very long without something else going on, but there is a reason.

thaumasiotes2 hours ago

> That was a great parody, but how much of those effects still worked even though you knew it was coming? The fade ins, blurring the outsides, the emotional voice talking to you...

Worked?

The game takes a very long time to load. This is funny, but not desirable in an actual game.

There is voiceover dialogue as you start. You can listen to it, but at some point you'll want to start playing the game.

There is an indicator telling you which square to clear next. I ignored this for several reasons:

- I want to know if you're compelled to follow it (you aren't);

- It's pointing to the wrong square;¹

- Following it would defeat the entire purpose of playing the game.

Dialogue continues as you play. But you can't listen to it because your mind is occupied. Following the indicator would solve that problem...

¹ There is a game you can find called Hexcells that is supposed to be an "improved" version of minesweeper. The "improvements" are two:

1. It's a hex grid, not a square grid.

2. In general, there is only one hex known to be clear at any given time. This means that the structure of the game is that you mindlessly reveal whichever tile you just gained information about rather than suffering under any obligation to think about what you can tell from the board.

I'm not sure why this was supposed to be an improvement; the only effect is to remove the entire puzzle aspect from a puzzle game. But hey, Steam reviews are "overwhelmingly positive". https://store.steampowered.com/app/265890/Hexcells/

johnnyanmac2 hours ago

>First, the game takes a very long time to load. This is funny, but not desirable in an actual game.

In unrealistic fashion, you can in fact mash through the license logos once you load in. So thr game itself doesn't actually take long at all to boot up on a technical level; the delays were a design choice.

lafalce30 minutes ago

I need to sweep these mines!

dllrr3 hours ago

That's hilarious. Spot on.

pianobenan hour ago

I need to sweep these mines!

forgotTheLast3 hours ago

Where do I enter my credit card info for the Season Pass and the special operator skin?

Razengan4 hours ago

Pac-Man as a Modern AAA Game: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaoUVVD-hUc

kennywinker3 hours ago

I should follow those pac-dots...

ixo2 hours ago

Sweep (2026)

UtahDave3 hours ago

This is hilarious

avereveard2 hours ago

Not even a dlc and cosmetics?

cckolon3 hours ago

There might be a mine here

jjmarr2 hours ago

The ending needed to force you to click on a mine so you die in the cutscene lmao.

etchalon4 hours ago

I laughed way way way too hard

duhballs3 hours ago

Needs Debra Wilson

ReptileMan2 hours ago

The part where the subtitles hide the mines is the best for me. Also talk with Ubisoft - they make AAAA games.

b3lvedere3 hours ago

That was awesome

viccis3 hours ago

Damn I didn't even have to Press Start to begin

bbeonx3 hours ago

omg this is brilliant i was IMMEDIATELY tilting my face off

serf2 hours ago

now add a kernel level rootkit and a monthly subscription which guarantees a set amount of loot-boxes a month.

[deleted]3 hours agocollapsed

bentt3 hours ago

Art

justmaris6 hours ago

This is fun.

fHran hour ago

Lmao

IshKebaban hour ago

lol perfect execution. I cracked up with the smiley face lip sync.

peterramsing4 hours ago

[dead]

iwontberude3 hours ago

[dead]

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