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mooreds

Incident CVE-2026-LGTM nesbitt.io

nickcw3 hours ago

That is very very funny, and oh so plausible.

I enjoyed this bit a lot from the timeline

> Karen Oyelaran finds the payload by reading the source code with her eyes and files a second issue. The triage assistant closes it as “duplicate of #8814.” Issue #8814 is a feature request for dark mode. Karen reopens it. The assistant closes it. Karen reopens it. Karen’s GitHub account is rate-limited for “patterns consistent with automated behaviour.”

And this - the final sentence is a perfect indictment of the timeline we are in.

> Two AI review agents from competing vendors, both attached to a downstream pull request bumping foxhole-lz4, enter a disagreement loop over whether the package is malicious. After 340 comments and $41,255 in inference spend, Finance revokes both API keys; one vendor’s marketing team, cc’d on the cost anomaly alert, issues a press release citing “a 430% YoY increase in adversarial multi-agent security reasoning.” The stock opens up 6%.

I'm joining the goat farming waitlist ;-)

pkoiralap2 hours ago

Justice to Karen

> We would like to thank:

> Karen Oyelaran, who found the issue on Day 1 and is currently appealing her GitHub rate limit via a web form that is also AI-triaged

quijoteunivan hour ago

It was funnier when i ask Ai what this was. The ai told me it was a satire about Ai, then i got it, funny.

Octoth0rpe3 hours ago

The entire post is great, but the acknowledgements section is particularly excellent:

> Kubernetes (the dog), who was not involved in this incident but whose photo in the #incident-response channel was auto-tagged by the Slack image classifier as “container orchestration diagram (confidence: 0.31)”

eddd-ddde2 hours ago

My favorite:

> This report was reviewed by Legal, who have asked us to clarify that the fox was depicted as over eighteen.

bilekas4 hours ago

> Duration: 96 hours (billable: 2.1 trillion tokens)

Now there's a metric that would make my boss nervous.

> Total inference spend across all parties during the incident window was $1.7M, which Marketing has asked us to start describing as “a record investment in autonomous customer assurance.”

This is too funny.

mawadev3 hours ago

I think at some point we need a different or split up currency/economy, because these values make no sense. Just consider how this inference cost 1.062.500 tomatoes ($1.6) in the physical world.

XorNot2 hours ago

Except it sort of does? You're paying for the food and shelter of the people engaged in all the manual labor in the supply chain which produces the electricity, for example.

Some of them likely eat tomatoes, so for that electricity you need to (indirectly) supply a certain number of tomatoes.

Which is the part about "what will human labor be worth?" that gets missed in all the AI discussion: it's the only thing the economy ultimately values.

aliasxneo2 hours ago

> Approximately 11% of affected hosts were still running fish as their login shell following the February incident; this had no bearing on anything but is noted here for completeness

Yeah, this one got me laughing and seems like such a heavy Claudism. The number of times I'm reading Claude's response and throwing my hands in the air like, "What the fck does that have to do with anything!?" It's the worst part of the over eagerness.

ceejayoz2 hours ago

One of the best CLAUDE.md improvements I've made is "don't talk like a Hacker News commenter". It seems to make a huge difference.

Yes, I recognize the irony.

SpyCoder772 hours ago

I did not realize this was satire until like halfway through. That is how insane the times are becoming

sltkr2 hours ago

> That is how insane the times are becoming

Gee whiz what an interesting way of thinking.

https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/aaaah

piterrro4 hours ago

(I know its a satire, but could be seen as an actual post mortem of the future incident) This report made me realize there's no place for humans, as it is right now, in the process of building software systems in the future. Reading this incident made me dizzy after few paragraphs because of the cognitive context overload and I lost track multiple times.

RaSoJo4 hours ago

I kinda felt it was satire, but then the below quote threw me off:

> one vendor’s marketing team, cc’d on the cost anomaly alert, issues a press release citing “a 430% YoY increase in adversarial multi-agent security reasoning.” The stock opens up 6%.

That happens! That is not satire. So i had to visit the comments here to be sure :)

Retr0id2 hours ago

Satire does usually have a degree of truth/realism.

jibalan hour ago

You could have "visited" the satire tag at the top of the article.

unknownfuture3 hours ago

You're absolutely right!

(In all seriousness it seems this is the dream of a huge number of AI pilled execs dreaming of infinite velocity at a fraction of the cost... velocity pointed where, you ask? Well stop asking or you'll be next.)

dbliss3 hours ago

Great satire. The comedy of errors along the way made me realize that this could have happened also with humans instead of bots. But now it’s faster.

unknownfuture3 hours ago

It... really couldn't? Step 3 in this fictional chain would never happen with a HITL.

I honestly can't tell with comments like this whether folks have too much respect for AI, or to little respect for people...

falcor84an hour ago

What's "step 3"? I don't see step numbering anywhere?

unknownfuturean hour ago

Is... this comment also satire?

xandrius3 hours ago

Great write-up.

Side note: interesting to see how many folks commenting did not get it being satire (even the title has LGTM). I guess it's time to rethink how sharp the HN folks truly are compared to the average non-tech person (not that I had any big assumptions myself).

I'm curious about this recipe for chevre :D

JRandomHacker42an hour ago

HN has a big blind spot, in my opinion, around writing that isn't "purely technical". I've seen several cases of commenter complaining about "clickbait" for a blog post that I'd describe as "having a narrative hook and structure"

unknownfuture3 hours ago

Cognitive surrender evidencing itself en masse? :D

geophph2 hours ago

By this point I’m not sure why everyone isn’t in “default satire” mode.

jibalan hour ago

And immediately below the title are the tags "package-managers security satire ai"

mlyle2 hours ago

I read it and saw LGTM and URL and was like "probably satire" but could not rule out it being real until like 30% in.

It's like a modern version of Poe's law.

jibalan hour ago

Just below the title are the tags "package-managers security satire ai"

Procrastes4 hours ago

I actually know a goat rancher who is working to require ag impact studies for data centers in Texas. Sounds like I should give him a call while I can.

(Also CVE-2026-LGTM would be an awesome name for a Culture ship)

NooneAtAll33 hours ago

previously on HN: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48086082 "Incident Report: CVE-2024-YIKES"

stronglikedan20 minutes ago

not the same one

shawkinawan hour ago

I really enjoyed the line “The incident was resolved when the attacker’s autonomous agent read a file it shouldn’t have, which is also how the incident started.”

woah2 hours ago

Previous piece from this genre: https://short-edition.com/en/classic/story/mark-twain/a-tele...

[deleted]an hour agocollapsed

dvh3 hours ago

Brought to you by the people who've been told repeatedly since mid 90s not to glue SQL strings together.

jitl2 hours ago

It's funny that as the most popular programming languages FINALLY got smart injection-safe SQL strings (js template literals etc), we're right back to square one with AI over the top that can't tell the difference between trusted and untrusted content. Funny and sad.

bobby_zhu36 minutes ago

I was wondering why the CVE number has LGTM in it, then my AI reminds me it is satire...

yk3 hours ago

> Seven LLMs were arranged in series. Six assumed another had read the code; the seventh read it and apologised.

And this is why management assumes that one can just automate software developers.

akramachamareian hour ago

Kinda reminds me of Snowcrash in vibes

seqizz16 minutes ago

Still no foxhole-lz4 on Github? Come on, someone should fork it from vulpine-lz4 :)

pmarreck4 hours ago

This incident report is WILD

    The incident was resolved when the attacker’s autonomous agent read a file it shouldn’t have, which is also how the incident started.

piazz4 hours ago

PSA this is satire ;)

(if you have to say it, that’s how you know it’s good)

jazzypants4 hours ago

Poe's law strikes again.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe's_law

kibwen4 hours ago

[dead]

InsideOutSanta4 hours ago

Seems perfectly cromulent to me. And thanks to Karen Oyelaran for her work.

jazzypants4 hours ago

We can only hope she wins her GitHub rate limit appeal soon.

This was hilarious. I didn't know that I needed AI slop satire in my life.

Groxx2 hours ago

Under Microsoft's ownership? She'll get through the goat-farming queue well before then.

dcrazy4 hours ago

It’s satire.

bilekas4 hours ago

Its LGTM actually! And very much not serious! (yet)

btown4 hours ago

If you're wondering what creats.io is - this is satire!

aftbit2 hours ago

It's available for rental from the domain cartel if anyone wants to drop some $$ on making the joke just that little bit more real.

cavalrytactics2 hours ago

Should have used Sigmashake guardrails... When will this industry learn. Youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHZaMu6J0F0

[deleted]2 hours agocollapsed

PunchyHamster3 hours ago

Well the part about brand-image-incompatible depictions of firefox logo apparently wasn't a satire

gerdesj3 hours ago

This tells you all you need to know about the "fox":

"This report was reviewed by Legal, who have asked us to clarify that the fox was depicted as over eighteen and that the sunglasses remained on throughout."

[deleted]4 hours agocollapsed

faeyanpiraat4 hours ago

You had me in the first half :)

ant-kinesthetic2 hours ago

"We continue to take security seriously, now at scale." is gold aha.

dugganan hour ago

This person should head up writing the next Silicon Valley.

leothetechguyan hour ago

[flagged]

hasteg3 hours ago

[dead]

priyankarr5 hours ago

[flagged]

windsurfer4 hours ago

Perhaps a [Satire] note should be added to the headline.

john_strinlai4 hours ago

its tagged as satire at the very top of the page, first thing under the title

(also, CVEs are numeric only, so the "LGTM" (looks good to me) and CVE "YIKES" is also a big giveaway, on top of ~all of the text being outlandish)

hk__24 hours ago

> its tagged as satire at the very top of the page, first thing under the title

Not the first thing, it’s buried in the tags as grey on light grey on white.

john_strinlai3 hours ago

>it’s buried in the tags as grey on light grey on white.

if you happened to miss the tags, reading approximately any of the article should make it pretty clear.

"This report was reviewed by Legal, who have asked us to clarify that the fox was depicted as over eighteen and that the sunglasses remained on throughout."

piskovan hour ago

Quoting literally the last paragraph is not helping to promote this as obviously satire

john_strinlaian hour ago

it was just my favorite part. i can copy/paste all of the outlandish parts, if you want, but i would be copy/pasting the entire article.

ignoring the satire tag at the top of the page, some examples from the first ~20%:

    - its on a personal blog, with no mention of what the actual product is
    - resolving an incident "by treaty"
    - "Severity: Informational → Critical → Withdrawn → Critical → Negotiated"
    - incident *duration* measured in "billable tokens"
    - link to a CVE named "YIKES"
    - an incident being resolved by the attacker reading a file
    - no dates provided, just "Day 1, 02:51 UTC"
    - creats.io doesn't exist

and so on, and so on, and so on

[deleted]3 hours agocollapsed

kps40 minutes ago

> grey on light grey

That's not part of the satire?

unknownfuture4 hours ago

It says a lot about the industry today that this post is somehow running afoul of Poe's Law...

hbcdbff3 hours ago

Yes, the Americans are waking up, we need to make it abundantly clear to avoid them misunderstanding.

ryukoposting3 hours ago

Most of America has been awake for a few hours now. Maybe we need a warning that this post is known to the State of California to be satire.

geophph2 hours ago

love the extra satire there

aftbit2 hours ago

Please don't! Getting tricked by the satire and then slowly realizing it's insane is half the fun.

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