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> Malort, White Monster, and C4 preworkout

What do they call this cocktail? I suggest "Malörtal Kombat".

That's so funny. Water doesn't even wash away the taste anyway

There remain jurisdictions in the United States where it is legal to shoot someone for replacing water with Malort.

> My friends make a cocktail with Malort, White Monster, and C4 preworkout.

Fuck me I almost gagged reading that. The rest is just a horror story. That would be the camping trip I return from alone and immediately call a criminal defense lawyer.

I love the ads:

"Malort: Weeding out Chicago's weak since 1934"

"Malort: When you need to unfriend someone in person"

As a former Chicagoan I also enjoy Malört.

To my unstudied palate, it is the bitter cousin to Jaegermeister. It’s a bit more complex and more of a mature drink compared to Jaegers.

I also really like it, I have a bottle in the pantry.

The first time I had it (in Chicago of course), I asked the bartender what it tasted like before trying it as my friends had been building up how bad it was. She said, “It tastes like the day my Father left us.”

I have friends who make custom shirts with the Malört logo and the text “Malört: because fuck you.”

I find it just fine as well. I feel like a generation of marketing around Malort was "it's really gross!", but it's a distinct taste that I don't think a chunk of people would find so offensive if they weren't heavily primed before trying it.

I tried it hoping it would be kind of vaguely like Absinthe mixed with w/ grapefruit extract and quinine, but it just tasted like burning gasoline or jet fuel to me.

I have a theory that our flavor pallet is flexible, and if you continue to consume something your body things is nourishing, it'll eventually flip a switch in your brain where it becomes palatable.

I'm sure someone has done research on this, but I'm unaware of any.

I'm intrigued to try it. I wonder how much it overlaps with Gammel Dansk, which my cousin describes as "it's a like a cinnamon stick threw up"

Every batch is different, some are more bitter than others. I think the new owners were planning to change that, but I feel like it hurts the appeal. The surprise is part of the fun.

I do not mind the taste, most of the time. Some bottles are especially bad though.

Malort is bitter, but not high proof, so I personally find it much easier to drink than something with more alcohol (if just talking about a shot...)

I like mine neat with a couple dashes of bitters. It's a lovely sipping drink.

I hate that whenever I try to order that at a bar, the bartender thinks I'm just being an idiot to show off. I can't see how it's any more of an acquired taste than something like single malt or calvados. Which, coincidentally, also make for thoroughly disgusting shots.

I wouldn't down half a tin of breath mints in one go, either.

I like it too. Reminds me of Akavit, which I love.

Yeah, they took a quaint little dive bar thing and are turning it into a lifestyle brand.

==I've suspected that the manufacturer has been actually encouraging this story. ==

It is an explicit part of their marketing. This [0] excellent advertisement in Chicago states:

"Do Not Enjoy. Responsibly."

[0] https://www.reddit.com/r/chicago/comments/19dvd2j/brilliant_...

wish moxie brand sodas wouldve done a similar marketing strategy to gain a better foothold in the northeast market. they got bought out by coca cola and nerfed any bitterness to have it resemble more like a flat root beer.

not everything in life needs to be sweet.

Their social media accounts at least absolutely lean into the "worst drink ever" reputation.

What are some other liquors in its category? Because it's much higher proof and lower sugar content than the bitter liquors people drink more or less unmixed.

There are probably some similarly high proof amaros out there but they're pretty rare even within that category and an american would probably only encounter them mixed into a cocktail if even then. Fernet branca sure but that's much less bitter. Malort is actually very unusual compared to campari, or suze or something along those lines. Much more bitter, more alcoholic and less sweet than the norm for these drinks.

Yeah, everyone knows that the real worst liquor ever is Ng Ka Py. Either they made it differently back then or John Steinbeck never actually drank it.

If you like Fernet?

The burnt rubber flavor does grow on you. Kinda like how black coffee is a bit of an acquired taste.

Malort has been available at Total Wine and More for over a year. That's when I bought some and forced my friends into all trying it, and they all agreed it was terrible.

The variants are what worry me; it seems to defeat the purpose of a drink that built a reputation on being "unenjoyable" to make it more palatable while using the brand name for cachet.

All that to say, I tried barrel aged Malort -- it mellows down the flavor, so sure it's "better," but again what's the point? There are plenty of better tasting shots out there.

I'd imagine there's as much actual wormwood in Malort as there is fruit in a Froot Loops.

I think that it's unpleasant, but found that its reputation is greatly exaggerated. There are much worse liquors available if that's your jam.

Don't drink Windex.

My first thought exactly! I have never heard of Malört outside of the cryptography/security industry, where offering it is seemingly used as a hazing ritual.

Just chase it with an Old Style or twelve and whatever Malört tastes like to you will soon be only a nostalgic memory from your one trip late at night to Logan.

Must be a British thing as I’m the same. Been to Chicago a few times and had a few shots of Malort and it’s totally fine. Maybe it’s the coriander-tastes-like-soap thing for some people.

Becherovka? I love that stuff. I'm afraid to try Malört though.

Besk has existed for a long time in Chicago, which I've heard referred to as "good Malort." It has a brighter, anise-forward flavor which puts it more in line with Italian amari.

Most of the alternative, new Fernets I've tried want to be "Branca, but more approachable", which takes away a lot of what makes Branca so interesting. I don't know if "Malort, but less bitter" is as marketable.

Fernet is so good. Probably a good entry point to bitters. It is so nice with Diet Coke.

If I like Amaro, but haven't been a fan of Fernet, is Malort worth a shot?

Try the exact same thing with Fernet instead. Or Averna, or really any bitter Amaro. They will provide better flavors but the same change to light beer.

What do you get if you roll 6-19?

It was created by a Swedish emigrant. There's a lot of Swedish history and people in Chicago, so much so that Sweden maintains an honorary consulate general that has no official diplomatic duties but is there to maintain relations and participate in the many Swedish festivals that happen throughout the area.

Neat. What was the trap?

The archive link is also paywalled.

It's a reference to the Chappell Roan album "The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess" which has been a smash hit this summer.

Absinthe has redeeming qualities, even if you don't enjoy the anise/black licorice flavor (which I do not). Malort does not. It really is a different beast.

Google's AI says that it "has a full-bodied flavor and tastes like pencil shavings, old battery rust, citrus zest, and ear wax".

If it's lasted a century as a prank Chicagoans play on people, it sounds like it is in fact a cultural touchstone.

I've seen it used more often as an initiation if someone has recently moved to Chicago. You welcome them to the city with a "Chicago Handshake" which is Old Style beer and a shot of Malort.

I live in the Chicago suburbs now and used to live in Chicago. Taking shots of Malört in bars is indeed a rite of passage for tourists, but yeah, it's a foul-tasting shot.

Democratic Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker was recorded sharing shots of Malört with visiting politicians during the week of the Democratic National Convention. I enjoyed looking at the reaction of the visiting politicians after they drank it.

Yes, this, exactly.

First a hipster meme and then a forced meme by the makers to capitalize on it.